As a child, I confess, I was intensely selfish. In every situation, I aggressively sought the best outcome only for myself. I never considered others. Slowly but surely, this attitude isolated me. My friends drifted away until I stood completely alone.
In my arrogance, I never believed it was my fault. I criticized the world, blamed my friends, and played the victim. Seeing my path leading toward isolation, my father decided to intervene. He didn’t lecture me; instead, he gave me three life-altering lessons over three consecutive days.
These lessons didn’t just shape my character; they became the foundation of my psychology as a trader years later.
Day 1: The Illusion of the “Sure Thing”
One evening, my father cooked two bowls of Halwa (a sweet pudding) and placed them on the table.
On top of one bowl sat two plump almonds—a rare luxury for us in those days. The second bowl looked plain, with nothing on top. He asked me to choose a bowl for myself.
Without a second thought, driven by greed and appearances, I grabbed the bowl with the two visible almonds. I congratulated myself on my smart, quick decision and hurriedly ate my prize.
But my jaw dropped when I looked over at my father’s bowl. As he dug his spoon to the bottom of his “plain” Halwa, he revealed eight hidden almonds buried beneath the surface!
I was filled with regret. I had cheated myself by rushing for immediate gratification.
Father’s Lesson: He smiled gently and said, “My child, what your eyes see is not always the whole truth. If you make a habit of selfishly grabbing the obvious prize, you will often find that even when you think you’ve won, you have actually lost.”
Traders’ Takeaway: How often do we see an “obvious” breakout on a chart—the two visible almonds—and jump in with full leverage due to FOMO? We ignore the underlying fundamentals or hidden risks buried beneath the surface. The obvious trade is often a crowded trade. True value in the market, just like in life, is often hidden from plain sight, requiring patience and deeper analysis to find the “eight underneath.”
Day 2: The Trap of Recency Bias
The next day, my father again prepared two bowls of Halwa. The setup was identical: one with two almonds on top, one with none visible.
Again, he asked me to choose. This time, I thought I was clever. I remembered yesterday’s lesson. I figured the “plain” bowl must hold the hidden treasure again. So, I confidently chose the bowl with nothing on top.
To my absolute shock, I finished the bowl and found… nothing. No almonds on top, and not a single one underneath.
Father’s Lesson: Seeing my disappointment, my father smiled. “My dear child, you must not blindly rely only on past experiences. Because something happened yesterday does not mean it will happen today. Sometimes life will trick you. Do not get overly distressed by these situations. Treat the experience as a unique lesson—one that no textbook can ever teach you.”
Traders’ Takeaway: This is the perfect metaphor for Recency Bias in trading. Just because a specific strategy worked yesterday, or a specific setup failed yesterday, does not mean the market will repeat the pattern today. Market conditions change rapidly. A trader who blindly applies yesterday’s solution to today’s problem will end up with an empty bowl. We must learn from losses without becoming emotionally paralyzed by them. Every loss is tuition paid to the market.
Day 3: The Power of Surrender and Trust
On the third day, the same scenario repeated. Two bowls: two almonds visible on one, none on the other. He asked me to choose.
But this time, something in me had shifted. I looked at my father and said, “Dad, you choose first. You are the head of this family; you contribute the most and sacrifice the most for us. You choose what is best, and I will gladly take what remains.”
My father’s face lit up with happiness. He chose the bowl with the two almonds on top.
I took the remaining plain bowl and started eating without expectation. But as my spoon reached the very bottom, I was stunned to find two almonds hidden there for me.
Father’s Lesson: With tears of pride in his eyes, he said, “My child, remember this forever: When you surrender your need to control everything and trust in a higher power (or the process), the best outcomes will be selected for you. When you genuinely think for the good of others, good things naturally find their way to you, too.“
Traders’ Takeaway: This is the hardest lesson: Surrender to the Process. When we stop trying to force the market to give us what we want (the selfish grab) and instead respect the market structure (the “head of the family”), things change. When we prioritize risk management—thinking of the “family” (our capital preservation) before our own greed—the profits naturally follow.
Surrendering isn’t giving up; it’s trusting your trading plan, accepting the risk, and letting the market come to you.
🌹 Final Thought:
My father taught me that life, like the markets, isn’t about grabbing the first shiny thing you see. It’s about looking deeper, adapting to change, and knowing when to step back and trust the process.