Two neighbours came before Jupiter and prayed him to grant their hearts’ desire. Now the one was full of greed, and the other eaten up with envy. So to punish them both, Jupiter granted that each might have whatever he wished for himself, but only on condition that his neighbour had twice as much.
The greedy man prayed to have a room full of gold. No sooner said than done; but all his joy was turned to grief when he found that his neighbour had two rooms full of the precious metal.
Then came the turn of the Envious man, who could not bear to think that his neighbour had any joy at all. So he prayed that he might have one of his own eyes put out, by which means his companion would become totally blind.
Envy is its own punishment.
-An Aesop’s Fable.
As you enter your recently promoted colleague’s office, you notice a photograph of his beautiful family in their new vacation home. He casually adjusts his custom suit and mentions his upcoming board meeting and speech in Davos. On one hand, you want to feel genuinely happy for him and celebrate his successes. On the other, you hope he falls into a crevasse in the Alps.
Envy—the distress people feel when others get what they want—is universal.
Regardless of the economic climate, people at all levels of a firm are vulnerable to envy. However, it intensifies in times of economic crisis. As losses mount, employees worry that they’re in jeopardy and grow to resent successful colleagues. Envy damages relationships, disrupts teams, and undermines organizational performance. Most of all, it harms the one who feels it.
When you’re obsessed with someone else’s success, your self-respect suffers, and you may neglect or even sabotage your own performance and possibly your career.
Envy is difficult to manage, in part because it’s hard to admit that we harbor such a socially unacceptable emotion. Our discomfort causes us to conceal and deny our feelings, and that makes things worse. Repressed envy inevitably resurfaces, stronger than ever.
It is possible to prevent yourself from being consumed by envy and even to harness it to your advantage. Recognize potentially destructive thoughts and behaviors; refocus them into more generous, productive ones; and make yourself more open to others, more receptive to change, and more fulfilled at work.
”Envy at Work” by Tanya Menon and Leigh Thompson.
Life is full of reminders of what we lack. There is always someone who is more successful, more talented, more attractive, or more advanced in meeting milestones than we are. We encounter these people every day—in fact, they are often our friends, family members, and colleagues. Sometimes these encounters can leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths and a green glow in our eyes.
Envy is a state of desiring something that someone else possesses. It’s a vicious emotion that can crush self-esteem, inspire efforts to undermine others’ successes, or even cause people to lash out violently. It also just feels horrible.
Acknowledge envy…..
Recognize that pride is just the flip side of the envy coin……..
Replace envy with compassion……….
Let envy fuel self-improvement—when appropriate………
Don’t forget to count your own blessings.
Envy drains our happiness and saps our energy. It’s appreciation that reveals abundance in places where we might have failed to look.
“Five Ways to Ease Your Envy” –by Juliana Breines